Hopefully, with upcoming holidays we are all taking a moment to express our gratitude for those people in our lives that we cherish. But we should also consider those that aren’t as fortunate.
And during these times, we should all be thinking about how we can not only improve our situations but also what we can do to help others. To help raise awareness, keep reading to gain some powerful perspective as to what children and teens in foster care may be experiencing and how their circumstances can be greatly improved by your donations and acts of kindness.
In-kind donations and gestures of kindness make an exceptional difference to those impacted by abuse, exploitation, and neglect by showing them that people care and act as encouragement to promote the idea that they can overcome any hardship with the support of a compassionate community.
Why Do They Need Our Help?
The reality of it is that children and teens in the foster care system have been placed in strangers’ homes, separated from loved ones, and sometimes also siblings. All are experiencing some form of consistent instability in their lives from moving homes/schools with few belongings and no say in where and when they’re uprooted. They’re told that they’re being taken care of, that they’re in better hands until something more permanent can be figured out. They’re left to feel out of place, like baggage handed off between homes, conditioned to feel like a number in a callous system.
During a time in which most people want nothing more than to be with their loved ones, foster children and teens are unable to do just that. Instead, holidays and birthdays can be a glum reminder of where they are in comparison to where they would rather be.
In 2017 Dr. Robert Duke reported during a TED talk that 25% of youth that age out of the foster care system will go on to become homeless while 25% of young males will become incarcerated after their care. He spoke about the trials that fostered youth will go through in their time and commented on the instability that they face while in the system and thereafter. His monologue was directed toward the low numbers of youth that attend and obtain a college education, less than 4%, and the things that can be done to improve those statistics.
(Watch here: https://youtu.be/IKI6SDec7Gc )
While Dr. Robert Duke's topic of general higher education is as valid now as ever, that can be left for a later post. What he said hit on some important points, that young people going through the system are not getting the support they require to function in society after care. They aren’t receiving the proper guidance for building a future, they’re being placed in safer homes that are filling their immediate needs only. And while they’re in care, they may be dodging abuse, exploitation, and neglect, but what they're in greater need of is additional guidance to help them traverse through their young adult lives.
Concepts that are easily taken for granted by those that grew up in loving homes may be alien to them (ideas like healthy boundaries, positive self-control, healthy coping, etc.)
Many of the youth aren't familiar with having their voices fully heard, being challenged to improve themselves, or being cared for. It is important to show them that they're deserving of unconditional love and compassion so they can learn to reciprocate kindness. It is also important to challenge them to value themselves for who they are, not for what has happened to them. This can be done individually by working with them and contributing to their self-esteem and by supporting their passions and aspirations.
Organizations have been berthed to facilitate the removal of children and teens from their unsafe homes predicated on the ‘immediate’ solution without the foresight to think about 'the later'. Truthfully, they’re in care because they’ve already overcome horrendous obstacles that no person should have to endure and they’re prone to resiliency because of it, but they have to be given opportunities to prove that to themselves through proper guidance and love. What the foster care system has done well is mastered the art of removal from one unsafe environment, but created another obstacle for them to overcome entirely ... isolation.
A family is a home unit designated to foster healthy, fruitful relationships and enable the youth to continue a cycle of healthy behavior and favorable decision-making. It is supposed to be a safe environment where children learn the way of the world and are taught skills and coping tools that will help them manage themselves and succeed as adults. Unfortunately, they aren't all conducive to a healthy upbringing and those problematic environments do more harm than good, and so removal becomes necessary with the understanding that children and teens taken from those homes become the responsibility of the communities to nurture and care for them.
When that unit is disrupted due to abuse or neglect, children and teens may assume they are responsible for any negative consequences that occur to them or their loved ones and may experience guilt. But they are not to blame for the wrongdoings of their guardians. This creates a sense of isolation and possibly desolation as they're stripped of the few comforts they're used to as they're placed into foreign homes. They're unsure of their futures and likely not very hopeful. They may construct a bleak narrative for their lives that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because they don't know any better. They're likely to recreate the errors of the adults in their lives because it is what they have the most experience with, but they can and should be challenged to step away from the familiar to explore some of the more positive avenues in life. However, they can't do it without guidance and support.
What Can Be Done?
The system itself is flawed and those most in need are also the most at risk of repeating a cycle of abuse, incarceration, homelessness, and so on. It is important to have as much information as possible when considering the fact that kind words and occasional gestures of goodwill go a long way in helping them to construct a more favorable narrative for their futures. If they've mainly only experienced abuse, neglect, or exploitation it is likely they will carry on that trajectory regardless of how well they may present. The key is to provide them with hope by showing them that their futures are not destined to be unfulfilling, there are better days ahead if they choose to listen to the advice of those that truly care for them.
Your support and consideration can help children and teens in foster care to manifest the best possible outcomes in their futures. Please don't take for granted the people that have helped you along your path either as they're contributed to your successes in more ways than you may regularly think about. But you can be that help and inspiration to the children and teens in need in your community by mentoring, donating, spreading awareness about the reality of their situations, and considering donating gifts to those that may not otherwise get them this holiday season. It means everything to those with nothing.
An easy way to support us and our mission is by ordering some items from our shop this holiday season. You can feel good knowing that proceeds will contribute to the betterment of children and teens in care and have some beautiful jewelry to show for it. Great for gifting and environmentally conscious packaging ensures that everyone will be taken care of along the way.
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