“When kids know that you have low expectations of them, they’ll have low expectations of themselves.” - Dr. Meredith Fox | Trauma Informed Teaching | TEDxFieldstoneDriveED | https://youtu.be/0vbN5CZCEsw
Some may cast judgement on a troubled teen struggling to keep their head above water. But its harmful to judge their potential against their background.
Trauma experienced early in life can be a detriment to a person’s future without the proper help. It can distort their worldview by forcing them into a persistent state of fight or flight. Setting a tone for future risky behaviors and poor rational decision making. Every obstacle can be perceived as a significant threat to their safety and wellbeing regardless of how minute it may actually be.
The most vulnerable are the least prepared to cope.
Perhaps their habit of stealing developed after experiencing neglect and food insecurity; their forceful aggression the result of feeling helpless when witnessing abuse; their poor hygiene an adaptation to ward off sexual abuse; their isolation due to prolonged verbal abuse. Those behaviors may have come about as a way for them to mitigate risk in their lives or to gain back power.
But as an bystander, it's impossible to tell nor understand the depth of their trauma and trauma responses/behaviors from the outside. But despite how they may present, what they desperately need is protection and compassion, not judgement.
People of any age shouldn't be blamed for trying to survive.
Don’t misinterpret warning signs as indications of them being lost causes, because they aren't. They're vulnerable and in need of support. They should be helped, their talents and efforts recognized and encouraged. They should be given reassurance that their past doesn't have to define their future if they don’t want it to. They can seek motivation from their hardships and inspire others to do the same. Show them that there are always options, but know that the decision to be better will always be up to them.
The trauma they've experienced is not their fault.
It doesn’t make them any less capable, but they may require more compassion and guidance.
Keep them safe, make sure their needs are being met, offer support, encourage them, and watch them thrive.
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